Wow wtf is happening.

It seems when your down the hits just keep coming. 1st I lost 3(or at least thats an estimate) of my friends I really wonder why, Followed by I realize Ive been somewhat toyed with in my feelings and finally I happen to witness an event which I REALLY wish I didnt have to see/know about it to make it worst there are others who witness it as well.
True goes to the saying that when it rains it pours. Perhaps that is just my fate as some poor judgement/choice from myself may have affected to those around me. Somehow even before things happen I somehow already knew it was coming but somehow I couldnt stop it from happening as I dont know the root of the problem. I truely treat everyone so sincerely and from the bottom of my heart I know that is true.
But as a saying I once told my friend some people are meant to stay while some just come by. But no matter what I wish it could be resolve but I dont even know what is happening.
Somehow somewhere deep inside me i thought i lost all type of emotions I try to reason things out as much as I can with logic. Apparently im still left with feelings. Feelings of Sadness and Despair. It maybe my fate to suffer in this life. However I'll appreciate the remainer of my friends and I'll hope for a better tomorrow.

Its so hard to forget someone whom you are thinking about everyday, every moment that deep down Im hurting like crazy but Im powerless to do anything.

"I rather let myself down, Give up on everything than to betray those i hold dear to myself"
Somehow some people around me can feel the aura around me but i'll try my best to keep it in control. Seriously everyone have more than enough problems than to come and bother about my problems.

Looking at the bright side. I still have tomorrow to live for. I will try my best to appear happy and I will still be around when my friends need me.

Friendship.

An incident just happened recently which made me think and ponder about some stuff.

I'll start first by defining friendship as is a form of interpersonally relationship generally considered to be closer than association. Sounds complicated right ? No it isnt. It just means that people who you can TRUST. That is what it is to me. For trust to happen there must be honesty or at least transparency in the action. I don't backstab people and I dont have any friends who will backstab me. A simple saying which i said recently. Just because I talked to you, Just because I play game with you doesnt mean you are my friend. I only trust people who trust me first. If people treat me good i'll treat them better BUT if they don't treat me good i'll just be normal. Why harm people if you don't like people to harm you in first place ?

The bonds of friendship can easily be broken by miscommunication , ill-intent, unintentional actions and  misinterpretation. Deceit , Denial and Doubts are something i feel that if not present within friendship the friendship will last for a very long time. Also Trust and Honesty is what I build my friendship on. To me friends are precious i will try to solve whatever i can as long as it is within my ability. Sometimes I feel I am overly concern about my friends but I dont see any problems with that as i stick with my friends through thick and thin. I dont wish to see my friends sad as I would feel the same way. But what about the lies which is said to protect a friend how will one judge that action ? Sacrifices must be made, feelings should be expressed and emotions should be made known to avoid misunderstanding ?

However sometimes after conflicts erupts, chaos and confusion spread and emotions rage. When all is said and done. If the bonds of friendship are strong after the incident the bonds will become stronger BECAUSE we overcome the obstacle in front of us. After that try to appreciate the friendship more and understand each other better so there would not be a repeat of the same incident ever again.

Destiny

We often hear people talking about destiny and fate but what is destiny and what is fate. I have been thinking about it quite a bit recently especially after my Genting trip ( Btw for the first time I got my fortune read with little persuasion from my friends. My friends took the test as well. )

Luckily what the fortune teller said was relatively positive. Luckily for us all our reading were relatively ok. There was no one with negative one. Anyway I believe he will offer counter measures if he really saw some negative.  However I was thinking how reliable are this sort of things to be able to tell the future base on your Birth date / Facial feature and palm. I’m a strong believer that we control our own destiny and we can create our own fate so for me to see was kind of shocking even to my parents.

 If one doesn’t put in any effort in fulfilling his destiny no matter how positive it is I believe there is no way for it to be met. Power and money don’t drop from the sky. Friends and enemy don’t come if you have no contact with anyone. Therefore one must at least do something in order to trigger it. There can be no fate if one doesn’t do anything at all as well.

Anyway I after hearing I felt certain things he said was eerily true for me and my friends. Therefore there’s no harm in taking his advice after all its better to be safe than sorry.

End

Everything in life comes with an ending. Whether it may be hard or easy, painful or relieve, angry or happy, sooner or later. However I feel that one should not look at the ending but the process in which you reach time point. Think about the happy, exciting and emotional times you had experiencing it. Not to forget remember the sad as well. Even though it’s not nice to remember it but it’s a part of the experience which you experience never let any memories go. It’s the negative in life which makes you enjoy the positive much more.

Always remember and treasure all the people along the way, all the experience one had, and all the obstacle one overcomed and always remember the with an ending there will be a new beginning. Hopefully better than before.

Impossible ?

Ever been told by someone that something is impossible? Well yea, for me at least. Countless times in fact but is impossible being used to often? Impossible means that something cannot be done, not capable of being true and can never happen.

Let me create some instances,

Situation A – Person A didn’t study for the test and his friend told him it was impossible for him to pass. However, not studying for a test doesn’t mean that one cannot pass. His friend should have told him that it was improbable for him to pass since he didn’t study for it.

Situation B – Person B wants to turn back time because he didn’t do something which he wanted to do. That’s impossible as there is no way to turn back time.

Situation C – Person C likes a girl whom he shouldn’t like for whatever. His friends all tell him to give up and that’s impossible for them to be together however in this case the word which should have been used should be improbable.

Anyway the word impossible is being used too easily. There is a lot more than meets the eye. Impossible is a strong word with good effect. When used on a weak-willed person they will naturally accept it as fact and move on. Especially when impossible is used in a group/click against a person it creates cognitive dissonance within the person because the ideas of the others in some way or another create an alternate idea inside the persons head which make him have two clashing ideas.

Factual things which are impossible are and will remain impossible. However when it comes to affairs of the heart I strongly believe that there is no such thing as impossible, at most only improbable because people are alive and emotions can be developed/changed with every passing moment.

Trust

Trust is a very interesting word. A lot of people like to use phrases like trust me but how often can the one saying it really hold true to the meaning of that word? When you trust someone it means that you rely on that person, place your faith in him and believe he can deliver.

The feeling one get when being trusted by others is good. There’s no one in this world which like to be doubt by others. However like all things its always easy to take than to give.

 Sometimes the word trust is used as an assurance or worst still a figure of speech. There is no real commitment in the words. So how does know when to trust someone and when not to? In my opinion it’s better that one doesn’t give out his trust too easily, a lot of people in this world are hiding behind mask, a lot of people are willing to say anything to get what they want and more often than not trusting others usually means hurting yourself.

Sometimes you tell someone something and you expect that you can trust them not to spread it to other but you find out at the end of the day that person is not trustworthy. It happens a lot and I can speak from experience. Of course sometimes the things the tell others they expect that person to be trustable and it continues to spread just because people trust others too easily especially when it doesn't involve themselves and they have nothing to lose. Its nice to have a listening ear whom is trustworthy its quite hard to find and if you have one. Treasure it.

It’s better to be cautious first and trust later. As the saying goes "there can be a knife behind every smile". Sometimes when you really believe in one person only to find out that whatever you know is purely it lie it breaks your sense of trust and you suddenly feel that no one is worth trusting.