Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Chasing love.

Sometimes I really wonder is it ever worth to be chasing someone you love. Over the years I have chased many times and fail as many as I tried. I thought of being simple and just love someone who love me but I realize I'm not capable of doing that. I may be able to treat that person nicely and care for her
but ultimately I cant love her.

When I look around me I see many people who are looking for girl friends for various reason however the reason varies so much from mine. I don't know if I'm looking for the wrong thing or did I simplify it too much. I just simply want to find someone who will treat me with the care and concern I give them, to be a person for me to share my problems with and to help them with their problems. Lastly its someone who I feel I can spend the rest of my life with. Am I asking for too much ? What should I ask for ?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Scorpio strength and weakness



Scorpio Strength Keywords:

- Loyal
- Passionate
- Resourceful
- Observant
- Dynamic

Scorpio Weakness Keywords:

- Jealous
- Obsessive
- Suspicious
- Manipulative
- Unyielding

This is something a good friend of mine shared with me. I'm Scorpio just in case you didn't know.

Loyal
I would agree with this 100%. I would never betray trust and friendship. As long as I trust and take you as a friend I'll be loyal to you till the end.

Passionate
Hmm.. about this I don't really know it.

Resourceful
Dependant on situation

Dynamic
I doubt I fit into this category. Maybe I don't see it myself or maybe I'm not.

Jealous
I would agree with this as well. I tend to get jealous easily but I get over it quickly I wouldn't be forever jealous.

Obsessive
Questionable. Not in a position to answer it myself

Suspicious
Only if things are suspicious but I think most of the time my suspicion is not unfounded :)

Manipulative
I don't think I am but maybe I should review my actions more.

Unyielding
Is this even a weakness ? Shouldn't it means refuse to give up. Anyway I think I will analyse the situation and take appropriate actions.

A friend of mine told me She found me very analytical I wonder is that even a good thing ? To analyse and take appropriate steps sounds very cautious in my opinion. But I guess because of what I experienced I'm cautious about people around me. 

A holiday with colleague

This is the first time I'm going on holiday with colleague. Omg so excited <3 Who wouldn't be haha.
Anyway we went up to Genting. 6 people in total. I was actually quite shocked that a random question on a genting trip really turned to reality. Even one of my colleague were sceptical on whether it would be happening.

I would say I really enjoyed the trip a lot. Even now sometime later the memories stay fresh in my mind. However I'm kinda in a depressing mood today to talk about it.

What do you do when people you trust doubt you. I'll feel hurt simply because I take them as friends only for them to distrust me. I think I trust people too easily. However I STILL believe in the goodness in people it may sound like a joke but that's what I honestly feel. I rather be betrayed than to betray this has all along been my policy. Thus I ended up betrayed so many times but I shall take each one as a lesson. However with each betrayal I feel my trust in people decrease a little each time. I hope to find someone who is able to prove that I can place my trust in and will never be betrayed.

Start of my PT job

Many things happened recently good , bad , happy and sad. I guess no one ever said life was easy and smooth flowing. When there is good there's always bad. When there's happiness there's sadness.

4 months ago...

A job was introduced to me by a certain friend from MDIS. I was very grateful for her for introducing to me such a company which fit into my dream job so well.

Dream job (Before I get my degree)
-Near my house (I don't like travelling too far)
-Work with friends (I guess its quite normal)
-Flexible hours (I like to sleep and wake up late)

I always wanted to work in a company near my house, flexible working hours and with a friend. WOW !! All my wish were granted to me. AMAZING right ?

 Some background on the company / job scope
-Telemarketing
-Basic + Comm ($7/h with potentially 90c per sign up)
-Afternoon shift 1-10pm (Isn't the working hours wonderful ? I get to stay up late and wake up late)
-Taxi fare home claimable (I rarely made used of this since I stay so near)

With all this being said it should be a dream right. I guess so while it lasted anyway

I got to know 5 other people excluding the friend whom intro me to this company. All of them were great people luckily for me. Its been a long time since I last worked and so having so many friends around me helped me a lot.

It always seem that in life, friends come and go. I really wished for friends who are here to stay. How to have such friends it's still a mystery for me.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Wow wtf is happening.

It seems when your down the hits just keep coming. 1st I lost 3(or at least thats an estimate) of my friends I really wonder why, Followed by I realize Ive been somewhat toyed with in my feelings and finally I happen to witness an event which I REALLY wish I didnt have to see/know about it to make it worst there are others who witness it as well.
True goes to the saying that when it rains it pours. Perhaps that is just my fate as some poor judgement/choice from myself may have affected to those around me. Somehow even before things happen I somehow already knew it was coming but somehow I couldnt stop it from happening as I dont know the root of the problem. I truely treat everyone so sincerely and from the bottom of my heart I know that is true.
But as a saying I once told my friend some people are meant to stay while some just come by. But no matter what I wish it could be resolve but I dont even know what is happening.
Somehow somewhere deep inside me i thought i lost all type of emotions I try to reason things out as much as I can with logic. Apparently im still left with feelings. Feelings of Sadness and Despair. It maybe my fate to suffer in this life. However I'll appreciate the remainer of my friends and I'll hope for a better tomorrow.

Its so hard to forget someone whom you are thinking about everyday, every moment that deep down Im hurting like crazy but Im powerless to do anything.

"I rather let myself down, Give up on everything than to betray those i hold dear to myself"
Somehow some people around me can feel the aura around me but i'll try my best to keep it in control. Seriously everyone have more than enough problems than to come and bother about my problems.

Looking at the bright side. I still have tomorrow to live for. I will try my best to appear happy and I will still be around when my friends need me.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Friendship.

An incident just happened recently which made me think and ponder about some stuff.

I'll start first by defining friendship as is a form of interpersonally relationship generally considered to be closer than association. Sounds complicated right ? No it isnt. It just means that people who you can TRUST. That is what it is to me. For trust to happen there must be honesty or at least transparency in the action. I don't backstab people and I dont have any friends who will backstab me. A simple saying which i said recently. Just because I talked to you, Just because I play game with you doesnt mean you are my friend. I only trust people who trust me first. If people treat me good i'll treat them better BUT if they don't treat me good i'll just be normal. Why harm people if you don't like people to harm you in first place ?

The bonds of friendship can easily be broken by miscommunication , ill-intent, unintentional actions and  misinterpretation. Deceit , Denial and Doubts are something i feel that if not present within friendship the friendship will last for a very long time. Also Trust and Honesty is what I build my friendship on. To me friends are precious i will try to solve whatever i can as long as it is within my ability. Sometimes I feel I am overly concern about my friends but I dont see any problems with that as i stick with my friends through thick and thin. I dont wish to see my friends sad as I would feel the same way. But what about the lies which is said to protect a friend how will one judge that action ? Sacrifices must be made, feelings should be expressed and emotions should be made known to avoid misunderstanding ?

However sometimes after conflicts erupts, chaos and confusion spread and emotions rage. When all is said and done. If the bonds of friendship are strong after the incident the bonds will become stronger BECAUSE we overcome the obstacle in front of us. After that try to appreciate the friendship more and understand each other better so there would not be a repeat of the same incident ever again.